People's definition of love The person you'll be marridge to may not be the person you love most in your whole life...
My definition about love Love is not free and not easily gotten. It is a gift you have earned in this life or the past. Do not take it for granted because it is free. 10billion bucks can't get back the love that you've lost. Do whatever you can to retain the love or try your best to earn it back. Everyone is different, you'll never find a person of the same personality and feeling ever again. Do not regret because you never tried your best to find the person back. Because the fault is solely yours, for not doing your best at it.
*i have tried my very best*
没有你的第37天
{ 8:36 AM }
HA! I'm getting my sleep back slowly although sometimes still got stupid scences pop up... TAKE THAT MR ZHOU!
Anyways went to the CE talk yesterday again... Damn the speaker same ranking as my dad only different department... from UOB. So nice of Karin know i was sian... specially online straight after reaching home to chat with me... Thanks girl! She's getting so familar with my daily routine that sometimes i dont even know it myself... haha
*looking at her blog's quarrel cant help laughing... lol* FYI i dont do such stupid things!
Thursday, July 30, 2009{ 10:55 PM }
Hi Eugene,
Hope your studies and social life are going smoothly. Do train yourself to balance your lifestlye be it in eating your meals, sleeping, socialising/relaxing and spending time with your family.
There is always a time for everything. You just need to be disciplined to do the right thing at the right time. Such balancing will give you a healthy body and mind. Always remember that your diet will affect your body as you grow older.
Ku cheh has reminded you constantly that family is very important. So do not neglect or ignore your parents as they are getting old and you are the only child staying with them. Love them unconditionally, talk to them frequently and not only when you need something. They may appear nagging but they have your interest at heart and try to be accommodating and not impatient with them.
Don't dwell on your broken relationship with Wendy anymore. Pick yourself up and study hard for a better future. You can do it. I am sure you do not want to let yourself, your parents and all the ku chehs down. It pains ku cheh to see you like this.
Feel free to speak to your parents, your sister/brother-in-law or any ku cheh if you have problems. We are always there to support and help you.
Love Ta Ku cheh
没有你的第37天
{ 8:31 AM }
Hmm what i wanna say is i have been with you for 2years le.. I know what i'm seeing, no doubt.
Anyways met karin yesterday after school.. Chatted for awhile and then she went look for her mum and i went home.. She stays so near to me.. walk also can reach.. lol. Anyways starting to find she got so much in common with me.. Habits and likings.. haha.. Well... we'll see. but not now.
*I just hope you know what you're doing and won't regret.* k10 : w90
Wednesday, July 29, 2009{ 6:36 PM }
Seeing you happy makes my day... =)
没有你的第36天
{ 8:46 AM }
Morning as usual listening to 987fm.. Dan and young again is the host but lack of vandetta already.. just like the old old times... before everything started. This is what they quote for the day.
You give woman anything, they multiply it. You give them a house, they'll give you a home. You give them groceries, they'll give you a meal. You give them your smile, they'll give you their heart. But if you give them crap, Then expect a tonne of shit.
POWER!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009{ 10:14 PM }
I lost one baby girl but i still got the other! haha
{ 8:23 PM }
Ok let me see... I can say the past 2 years zoomed by sooo fast before i knew it.. I will compare it as a dream ba.. Some parts of it was not very good, but most parts of it was too good to be true to happen to me.. I have got the everyone loved Wendy.. against all the odds we've been together for like 2 years already... I never dreamt of getting a girl like her... Maybe only in my wildest dreams...
Truthfully speaking I have never ever been to sembawang before i met her.. I still thought smb was on thhe purple line.. haha.. Then found out it was sengkang.. Not very good at directions sorry.. lol
This should be around there ba... Perhaps she's too good to be true and my luck is wearing thin.. I should be on with my ant like life le i guess... Rush to school, rush home, day's end. Abit boring and lifeless but i dont have a choice i guess... Waiting for the next person to bring colour into my life again ba... be it be who... We'll see...
anyways... thanks for the many good times you've given me this past 362 days baby... I don't know will you be my last or not.. But you've definitely got my first... That is something to live for... Thanks girl... You'll never be forgotten... You've got yourself a permanent place in a corner of my heart... =)
*i will miss your cute lil nose and feifei tui...* 没有你的第35天
{ 2:23 PM }
Oh man today play game red remover... I completed the whole game man... hahaha very an wei... I suck at this type of games also lack of patience de.. but i finished it.. =x Wendy is much better in this type of games... Bonus events, par challenge and extra events... Nice game.. think wendy will like it..
Hmm today is aunty debby's birthday! happy birthday aunty! haha... *karin told me =x*
Anyways... Hmm yup i want to have you back and want to be with you alot alot.. But if you dont want there is nothing i can do.. I dont like to force ppl if i want, because i want the whole u... Not just the person... You'll see ba.. I'm changed all thanks to you.. But i hope it'll benefit you and not other girls... =) This blog will stop all these things about wendy le... If she's meant to be mine, SHE'S MINE!. i'll just have to wait... =)
{ 10:20 AM }
Good Morning guys! today cognitive p13 is talking about what knowledge is good, what is useless.. The red remover game quite nice man.. Challenging... ok la i'm abit slow in this type of games... Should be a breeze to you... =)
Anyways today woke up late almost late for school man.. all the way the bus so damn empty.. yao siu.. scared. Then at interchange i thought i saw you? haha... rare sight.. Also dono what made me turn to look into the bus.. Normally as usual in the morning blur blur 1.. Just walk straight... Mysterious connections... haha...
Monday, July 27, 2009{ 10:29 PM }
Just added 2 old sms from my old w850 phone which had been down for almost 1.5years... the phone which needed super glue. Pathetic.
09-Nov-2007 I'm home le.faster go home before it rains.=) ty deardearr.today let me shoot so much n walk me home.=) muackkiies
09-Mar-2008 dummy dearrdearr..baby pigg is home safely le..i go bathe 1st becareful ar..reach home sms me. =)
haha we were once so sweet... But we lost the spark... Used to be so worried of her going home alone even sent her to under her block still worry.. Yup and i totally lost the spark in loving her... Until now i realised how important she really is, then the fire for her came back.. Unstoppable yet useless... She always cared for me so much, only i couldn't see it.. Why huh?
Anyways today walked pass dolby ghaut and saw the place where I had my 1st ever date in my life... A dinner at pepper lunch after her inter-ite netball games... Was quite nerves then.. 1st time i got a girl out for a date... haha...
3rd Unforgettable event This was quite an unforgettable time but it is also a bad event... I was quite tired on the day but i promised to bring wendy out to suntec's sitex comp show... Good god when i met her, she was gorgeous... totally stunning! But i guess due to be being tired... I snapped at her and walked off... I don't know what happened to me on that day... I gave her back our ring and she threw it away... damn... I'm soooo regretful now...
4th Unforgettable event I don't know for what reason, i wanted to leave wendy... She loved me so much and came all the way down to jurong early in the morning even before i woke up... it was 7am+ in the morning i remembered... she waited for me to leave house just to talk to me... I didnt bother about her and rushed for the bus.. she didnt catch it... At around trade-hub 21 area, she boarded the 99 bus i was in... I was shocked man... Was shocked in what she can do and how deep she loved me... From then on, i put down all my principles and loved her... =)
5th unforgettable event This day is the 11th of july, 2008. After training we rushed back home and then out again to catch our flyer session at 830pm... I bought the most expensive ticket in the house for her birthday... Our very own private cabin... As usual rushing for time my tone wasnt that good... But upon reaching there, Saw the big big smile on her face... My mood was all gone... She makes my day... hope you had a nice birthday... =)
6th most most unforgettable event Today is one of the sweetest days in our time... We went to bugis to walk walk and settled at bubble tea hut for our lunch... We ordered fried rice with chicken wings... Then i took over and deboned totally the chicken for her... Because i SOOOO LOVE THIS GIRL! Then walked abit, her leg cramp... I straight away found a place to seat and massaged her leg... In public... With my da nan ren attitude... This can show that i really LOOVE this girl... But more things soon happened i guess...
*this girl have really suffered alot with me and have really loved me unconditionally... I dont know how am i so good to let her love me this much... But i really regretted how i've treated her... I'm sorry baby... dearr knows its too late.. But he really knows his mistake le this time... no matter how difficult, he will do his very best to earn you back... because you're worth everything to him... me...*
没有你的第34天
{ 12:49 PM }
Just went through eudora's blog from 1st page to the last... Remembered the day when she 1st came into the world... I was so kan chiong like its my own kid... I some sort of lost my tone on you for walking slightly slower... haha... sorry. Anyways yup we witness girl girl on the day she came to the world... 23/5/08.. from jie got married 1 month later wendy was with me le... Saw jie got pregnant and after 9mths gave birth to little eudora... Then saw her 1st month.. Until her 1st year birthday...
Wendy and i have gone a long long way... In the middle many things happened but in the end it still didnt work out i guess.. But oh well... Still want you to continue watch girl girl grow up with me... I'll post more photos and videos for you.. =)
*Although i feel that after such a long way we've travelled and its not worth it to end it like this... But it takes 2 hands to clap and 2 to make a couple... I'm very glad you have walked with me this stretch of my life.. and i'm glad that you have gave me my many 1st times... I'm glad that it was you... If there is a chance for us in the future, I'll cherish you much much more...=)*
{ 10:51 AM }
ok lets talk about today's most unforgettable event... This happened in 2007, july the 11th.
I remembered we didnt go training today and went back to my place right after school..
Reached home i asked her to wait outside while i went in to prepare stuff for her.. 5minutes later i ask her to come into my room, on my table there was this oreo cake... with one candle on it... Anyways its the 1st cake i ever fully bought on my own... Yes.. When she saw the cake, i saw this gleam in her eyes... I think she cried...
The next moment she hugged me and said, "dearrdearr I love you". This was the first time she said that to me verbally... And also the first time a girl said that to me.. This moment is the most unforgettable... That moment, I also promised her i will celebrate every birthday with her from then on... Dont know if she still remembers it..
{ 10:45 AM }
oh man.. my mood is going rock bottom again... can he only give her happiness and i cant? i seriously dont think so you know..
Whatever i put in my heart in to do, there's nothing i cant do... Nothing i cant win i believe... But too bad human's heart is the most unpredicted thing on earth and there is totally nothing i can do.
*i only need one chance again to prove U ALL WRONG!*
{ 9:11 AM }
Hmm its back to school le i guess.. today is science P12 talking about dono what cell again sian... Yesterday smsed with Karin till quite late.. She's having her Os quite soon... Then she ask me accompany her out to study soon.. I guess i should be ok with it.. Quite free anyways...
Ok let me intro about how i know Karin about... Let me see, she is the cousin of my sister's husband... I also dono what to call her.. As usual girls i call girl ba and guys call bro... I first met her during Kor's sis married time.. That time they haven married yet so can say i know her for 3years le.. She's quite attractive at the first 2 occassions I've met her... 2nd time is kor's wedding... Both time she was wearing tube dress, 1st time is green, 2nd is purple.. Haha i have good memory of attractive girls..
That time was before i met wendy... After i started with her, Karin was totally left out of my scope le... But just 2 weeks ago i went to daiso at IMM to get a new hat because mine is lost, met her there... than after that she gave me her add for facebook... From what i know her family background quite similar to mine.. But i hate messy links... although age, look and character quite ok... Kor's father is her father's bigger brother lor... wat the helll.... tak boleh leh...
Say until how nice, my heart is still with wendy ba... I dont like to start new things... I'm scared will have negative effects or not up to my expectations than i can only lan lan... But once i started it, I want it to last... Perhaps long or forever...
Anyways after this breakup with wendy, i found myself not so confident about myself le... I use alot of words like maybe, i guess, i think, i feel and i'm like more open in learning new stuff le... Not so self-sure... Seal off everything outside cause i feel what i know is better... I dono this is good or bad.. Because i may not be as confident as before in PPT le... *big blow i guess*
Guess i will reconnect my wii later.. abit bored at home man..
*Cya later guys.. I'm gonna go today's problem liao.. ciao*
Sunday, July 26, 2009{ 8:28 PM }
Eudora and sis family just left... Webcam cahtted with karin because she wanted to see eudora... Yup the young girl had learned many things this past week... She now know how to say, ball ball = ball, mao mao = cat, duck duck = duck, nana = banana and ribina... haha... will upload a video on her shouting NANA!
No matter how cute she is... my smile is only momentarily... I have noticed ever since wendy walked out of my life, my smile seemsed lifeless... a smileless smile... It seemed like my ren shen le qu no more le.. Only when she is around, I get peaceful sleep... Can laugh out deep down from my heart... Everything seems very perfect and nothing seemed lacking...
When i'm feeling down and out, i love to listen to emo chinese songs... It used to be like this before wendy stepped into my life... She added colour into my life... And i totally changed my habit of listening to songs...
Anyways talking about saving money... Without her i spend even more man i feel... Because she don't come over to eat le mummy dont cook le... she say nobody appreciates her cooking.. Only wendy appreciates it.. So i spend every meal outside... sometimes i eat alone i also dont bother eating le... I have literally half the savings I had last time even I spend on her at times... She's my perfect girl man... In sense of house managing and loving me... UNRIVALLED!
Hope you've done well for your 2 trials...
Nothing beats the feeling of her making noise around me... Even scolding me till i went totally silent, is even better then this... living hell!
NANA!
没有你的第33天
{ 2:42 PM }
Ok i'm back from lunch from my aunty's place... today got xue mu er soup.. wendy liked it i guess.. ah her again.. when can i snap out of it! man.. now go everywhere is like myself only... I'm too used to report to her whereever i go... now i feel so alone... Anyways er gu and xiao gu ask and ask i got give her the protective casing like that. Like ya i know its for her... I also cant use what.. length not correct. *pics and vid about girl girl will be upped soon.*
I'm still trying to hold open the door and wait for you to return... You had a hard time to come into the family door... I don't want you to relieve the days all over again... Or am i only single handedly wanting you back and you have no intention of ever returning? this battery needs recharging le... only you can..
^will you give me the chance to be responsible for what i've done?^
{ 11:18 AM }
Let me see... Today wendy is taking her trial for full fita and round robin i guess... xin ku le girl! How i wished i could be there for you... =)
Anyways another hardcore night i have... getting to sleep isnt simple nowadays... even if i get to sleep, its very uncomfortable and wake up still very tired.. dont sleep even better.
Yup although i said i needa think for her.. but still i want her... this type of things cant lie to myself one... Dreamt they have a damn good time, dono got wat code word is "diary 11" and "mind map" their own stuff... Yup i listen le very shag and buay tahan... But i really have no choice do i... Even my dreams are making me shag and tired... When and where will i find a place i can rest in peace? *nightmare* Always i hd nightmares i would have told her and she will comfort me... guess i'm on my own le..
Yesterday's trip out saw many couples holding hands, hugging and sooo sweet.... Where is mine? I used to have it... my perfect little baby... will i ever get to hold you again? Who knows?
Oh ya i broke my damn promise... I said cant go to her blog to see.. BUT I DID! holy cow! Bloody weak eugene is. Anyways I will never let her wait outside for 30min man... like weijie say when things get hardcore... The testicles will come up till the throat there... haha... wait outside 5min the girl also make noise le... cant imagine 30min.. ahh.. how i hope i can still find you at my door... it'll be the best thing i ever wish for... my best present...
Hmm i really missed that one time... It was friday i guess... I was too tired i overslept.. Then suddenly someone hit my ass.. I wanted to turn around scold the person le... No one hits me when i'm sleeping man... somemore my ass! but... ITS WENDY! HOLY COW! was so shocked how did she get in... Then she said ironing lady let her in... Although i my facial expression was just pure shockness, but in my heart was melted. My wish came true... the 1st moment i open my eyes, the 1st person i see is her... SWEEEEEET! hmm dont say afternoon nap... What i really mean is from the previous night's sleep. Ok this is the most unforgettable stuff... Always wanted to make this happen again so i didnt lock the door and ask her come in herself... but i guess this had a negative effect on her impression of me ba... OH WELL. going da gu house eat lunch liao... later~
*everyday i will post a post on the most unforgettable event with you... =)*
Saturday, July 25, 2009{ 11:55 PM }
Hmm let me see.. was suppose to meet doreen at 330 but i left house only at 330.. haha..
Ok on to main topic.. today walk walk again walked pass pepper lunch. suddenly realise quite long never eat liao.. but as usual friends all bo on one.. always only 1 person very on to all the expensive or weird weird stuff.. yup its wendy. Without her, my life is like damn normal man.. not as colourful le. Damn boring.
Anyways I'm like going out of my mind these few weeks... Last time will never do the things now all do liao.. Abit crazy. Like singning in class, like damn ji dong with actions type.. Doreen always -_-.. cox she everyday team with me.. haha.. And ya i like to go kbox le, like to take pics... Like go everywhere i also take my phone out to take... No matter good or bad.. Maybe to keep as memories ba.. Now i really regretted not to take more pics with wendy... wanna see also dont have much.. learning ba.
Talked with Ken and ansel about future stuff.. about having wife, kids then interest must die down... I guess if my wife is wendy, my son or daughter may also take archery man.. Cause their mum is a national archer and father is a coach.. "i hope by then i am coach". Hmm wendy suits all my requirements ba.. But too bad.. she dont want me.. i LAN LAN.
About me is, He is an unpolished gem. He is very capable both in his career and his love life. But he needs training and polishing.
I guess this is true... so wendy is my polisher? ma and pa oso bo bian to change me.. only she can.
Ok man.. now onto next topic... I have done my PDT, analysis and evaluation... I totally agree with liting's statement. She left him because she have no more feelings for him. But from what i know about wendy, she wont leave until something big happens... I thk everyone know's his character... Something big? NO WAY! So my final statement and conclusion for them is 4 words. 白头到老. Guess i will never get her back le... I dont wanna believe, but its true.. I got no choice. I'm too late ba.. Who ask me noob shit 18years old den 1st girlfriend. everything also dono.. GE KIANG act smart tot ownself very pro in love.. what this tactic that tactic.. NOOB!
Now i'm like wanna learn many things man... archery not enough.. now into photography and guitar somemore.. still got wat? Haha say real i learn to impress girl ba... Impress wendy? i dont thk got use. But i really learn many things after she left me.. 1 main thing is photography... I like so wanna capture the world into my small small camera lense... i regretted not taking more with her lor.. now all too late.
Anyways today passed glass house suddenly remember i promised myself to bring her here to eat... oh well too late. so many places i wanna go with you... but guess he will do it le...
I think i must finally think for you liao... Always thinking for myself only.. yao siu... Although i want you very much and want you to be my future... But i guess i should really respect you chose him out of me.. as i really know he can make you happy... i'm only making u irritated.. and more over i've lost your trust... moving on...
Anyways JIAYOU WENDY!!! tmr's trial is hardcore.. but i believe YOU CAN DO IT!!!
没有你的第32天
{ 6:43 AM }
Had a very restless night yesterday... wake up still soooo damn tired.. when will i ever get a comfortable sleep like i used to? I miss her patting me to sleep... Feels so secure, so comfortable, so loved.
The moment i opened by eyes i feel so much to sms her i miss you baby... but i guess i shouldn't... I wanna hug her sooo much... I miss you...
pure loved
Friday, July 24, 2009{ 9:11 PM }
Dedication to Doreen let me see.. it was raining again early in the morning, like my heart is crying... was so very down in school today totally no mood to do.. Anyways introduction to my new good friend, Doreen Tan! Goodness alot of Tans around and quite close to me... anyways this girl 1 week got 5 lessons, all 5 lessons team with me. Ok a short intro about how i feel about her. When i first got to know this girl, ffelt that she's very irritating and very stupid. but after teaming with her again and again, starting to see a different side of her. as all can see i'm in a steep dive in sense of performance and mood ba.. the very strong eugene no more liao now so weak. But this girl here everyday team with me, never even complain a word about it. but try to help me, talk to me and initiate most of the work. THANKS GIRL!
ok for my personal post. today whole day didnt see her online.. perhaps she never come school again ba.. really affects my mood sooooo much! then today got scolded by richard. 1st time a faci scolded eugene chiam.. haix. si bai. i guess i will be stopping all the nonsense le... if she's mine, she will eventually come bck to me... iif she sees a different me and she wants a future with me ba. so friends, xin ku ya'll to keep me accompany me liao ar! wahahahaha. Yesterday was the last day of the 30 days i promised myself i must stop bugging her le... so from today on, its not called 失去方向了 it will be called 没有你.
Yupyup days without you is sooo different and i'm totally not used to it. perhaps i don't want to ba... So hope you're still by my side and i still have the rights to do everything i did... to love you. But i guess this is a lesson i have to learn ba... For the sake of my future and if god is willing, give her back to me to love her more than anyone can. its my promise to you god, i will try my very best.
I guess i will not be using Computer when i reach home le... Anything important please call or sms me ok guys? haha guess no one will.. because i dont intend to give anyone this add. Maybe to her only. I really cant take the pain when i click onto her blog or his blog.. I wanna know but I am scared to know. Always click the link and wait for it to load, my heart rate fasten... like coming heart attack. I also dono how long can i last like tat before something really happen to me. I remember her link.. So only solution is to pull out the power plug. I'll be so damn bored... OH WELL.
oh ya one last thing wendy baby... i'm not like last time will go backstabbing people who betray me le ok? please dont misunderstand me... talking to them about you makes me feel so good.. not because i backstab feel good. but i'm hao lian-ing about what have you done for me, how perfect and how i really want you... i'm tired of politics le... i just wanna feel happy with you.. so what you see is what is real... I know whta i want and i will wait. People misunderstand i will fend for you. Because you are perfect, i'm not...cross my heart! =) I will patiently wait for my baby to come home... this dearr wont ever chase baby off again le... I guess i wont repeat what will be different le... Because she's worth it!
*I have collated 12 problems for Programming le... I also typed instructions and tips for each problem myself to give you a better life next sem! hope got use to you*
pure cuteness!
take care guys. i'm down and out 没有你的第31天
{ 8:03 PM }
{ 7:43 PM }
I can't believe i am really writing a blog. but i relly need to digitalise my diary. the diary i have is getting full very very soon.. i guess left 1week's spcae to write only..
today in school was super down.. anyways thanks doreen! for everything.
